


When The Hurt Sets In, I Look To You

by TheMonsterBookofFanfiction



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Historical References, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, This is Literally them Just Getting Tortured, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25482862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMonsterBookofFanfiction/pseuds/TheMonsterBookofFanfiction
Summary: The pain doesn't stop, and wars have a lot of pain. Nicolo and Yusuf are always together that gets them in a lot of trouble. Mostly by those who don't like gays or people darker than a sheet of paper. How did they survive it all? Each other.Literally just them getting captured and torture over many decades. The topics will be: The Crusades, The Spanish Inquisition, The Indian Removal Act, Second Boer War, World War II, and The Irish Troubles
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 8
Kudos: 219





	1. The Crusades 1100

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone I hope you enjoy my Old Guard fic. If you want to go read more big sad I have another fic called Say Your Prayers (They Fall on Deaf Ears), still about Joe and Nicky. If you want to come yell at me on Tumblr about how dare I my Tumblr for writing is @monsterbookoffanfiction hope to see yall there, and enjoy the story! Kudos and Comments get me through work and grad school!

If you ask either Nicky or Joe they will tell you that after the first crusade where they met and killed each other for two weeks straight they never returned to the battlefield to fight in the name of the Holy Land ever again. But that is a lie. After they finally got settled in and learned each other, they moved south for the east was the war, the north was the war, and west was the ocean, so south was the only way to go. And to go south meant to go to Jerusalem, and to go to Jerusalem meant hiding who Nicky, then still Nicolo, from everyone, dressing him as a Jew and forcing him to only speak when needed, and in broken Arabic at that. 

They lived like this for months, both working hard labour and living with an old friend of Yusuf’s father or something (the details get fuzzy after a few centuries and the relation to the family they were staying with was never the important part of this time). So for a few weeks, as the Christians moved south to the Holy City, Nicolo and Yusuf worked, eventually, they gained the money to rent out a place near the wall at the back of the city. It is a quiet and peaceful life, for a while. Yusuf loves to watch Nicolo cook and tell stories of his family back home in Genova. Nicolo loves to spar and practice fighting with Yusuf for he will crack jokes as they meet swords before landing what would normally be a killing blow. Nicolo goes to sleep each night with thoughts of Yusuf’s laugh and smile and the harsh words of the old father that taught him the words of the Bible and how a man can not lie with a man. 

Still, despite the thoughts that keep him awake and the dreams of the two women that lay with each other and fight at each other’s side keeping him company in sleep, he learns to love his new life. 

Then the armies come. The battle has gotten to the city and everyone is in panic. Nicolo wakes up with a start as he hears yelling from outside his little home, there is a fire in the distance but he can’t tell exactly where it is coming from but he is too tired to figure it out. What he does know is that Yusuf is not in the home, their beds face each other and his blankets are already pushed down to the foot and on the floor, his weapon is also missing. Nicolo quickly grabs his own sword and his medicine kit of bandages and healing herbs before running out the door. He does not get far before he stops to help people but the supplies do not last long and soon he only has his longsword at his side for tools. 

He runs to the noise, and what he finds is archers on the way and others throwing spears below, all of it is an awful sight, for coming up from below is fire, arrows, and rocks all thrown with no regard to whether they hit soldier or civilian. These were men that he fought with, defended, tried to understand but now the way the arrows hit small children trying to flee with their parents Nicolo can not understand. The only thing that pulls him out of his stupor is a familiar cry of pain, one that he had caused over and over again. Looking to the source of the pain he sees Yusuf on top of the way, shooting arrows down below with the best of them. 

“Yusuf!” He cries to the top of the wall as he begins the climb up there. The other man turns sharply at the sound of his name being called, Nico knows the exact moment he spots him for his eyes shine a little in a way that they only do when they look at him (Nicolo has spent many nights not reading into, of course, he hasn’t lost sleep over it what are you talking about). Unfortunately right as he turns to look at him a spear comes and pierces through his shoulder, causing Yusuf to swear loudly and stumble, right at he is getting to the top. 

“ _ Are you well? What is happening?”  _ Nicolo asks right as he gets to the top of the wall and comes to rest his hands around the spear. Yusuf glares at him as he rips it from his shoulder, watching as his body heals the hole created by it quickly. 

“ _ Very pissed off, _ ” is the response Yusuf gives him as he moves to the edge of the wall and chucks a spear directly into the heart of a Christain, the move causes Nicolo to glare are him but Yusuf will not meet his eyes. “ _ The Crusaders have made it to the wall, we are trying to keep them out. They will destroy everything and everyone in the city. That is what is happening, Nicolo _ .” He turns to face the Italian at last sentence, there is a darkness hanging over his eyes when they finally meet. 

Nicolo is conflicted for only a moment before he picks up a bow and quiver of a fallen soldier and begins raining arrows on the men below, aiming only for those in the red crossed uniforms. Yusuf grabs his arm as he pulls back to fire another arrow, saying, “ _ are these men not your brothers? _ ”

Pulling his arm free and aiming he replies, “ _ God would not want the innocent murdered in his name. _ ” Yusuf stares at him for a minute before going back to throwing spears and yells commands in Arabic to other men on the wall. 

The wall does not stand for long. Two days after that first morning the wall falls, and the Christians take control of the city. Nico watches as they begin killing every man, taking the women, enslaving the children, and burning the houses. Nico runs into a man trying to kill two girls of a family he worked with, this leads to him killing this man, leading Yusuf to have to come in and protect him from the man’s large and heavily armed friends, which in turn leads to their capture. 

They are chained up in one of the few buildings left standing, with their feet barely touching the ground, their shirts removed, and their hands forced to hang from the ceiling. “ _ You had to intervene, didn’t you? _ ” Yusuf eventually asks, looking down at the dirt beneath his feet. 

Nicolo turns to him, a challenge with the chains in the way. “ _ I could not stand by and watch as the innocent and young get slaughtered by those who do not understand God’s will. _ ” 

The response draws a sharp laugh out of Yusuf as his head lools to the side barely making eye contact through his think black hair. “ _ You never stopped them before. _ ”

His eyes turn dark as he swings his body to face the shorter man. “ _ I have before, it almost got me removed from the army. I mean it when I say the innocent and uninvolved do not deserve their fate. Today was an affront to God and his teaching _ .” 

“Is that so?” A new voice asks in Latin from the doorway both men turn to see an older white man glaring back at them, Nicolo recognizes him as a very important person in the army for the church but can not recall a name. “Well, I must tell you that you have not paid attention to his teachings well. For God wants good Roma Christians ruling the Holy Land and whipping out any heretic that claims to be of the faith or denounces the one true God and His Son.” 

_ “What is he saying, Nico? I do not understand this language, _ ” Yusuf whispers harshly over to him. Before Nicolo can answer him, though, there is a sharp gasp from beside him, finally looking away from the commander and turning to Yusuf who now has a deep cut across his chest in the shape of the cross, similar to the one Nicolo used to wear into battle. 

“Tell your slave that he is to not speak unless spoken to, or else we will have no use for him. Slaves that do not listen are a hassle and nuisance.” The commander paces slowly in front of Yusuf holding out a sharp blade, he is able to recongise it as one of the blades used by the Muslim forces a trophy of sorts for the man who sees this all as a way to be the richest man in Roma. He knows that his new friend (ally… what are they? Are they a thing? Does their thing have a name? If they get out of this Nico really needs to ask him these questions.) 

“ _ He is not my slave, _ ” Nicolo finally retorts after coming back to himself. This causes Yusuf to smirk at the guards and soldiers watching them, which in turn causes Nicolo to regret his choice. 

“Then he must mean nothing to you, for there is no other relationship a good Christian, a priest, could have with a Muslim. Especially not a male Muslim, right de Genova?” The commander has not taken his eyes off Yusuf this whole time, the problem is that he recognises the look in his eyes. It is the look that his fellow crusaders had right before they raped a town. Stealing the women, slowly killing the men, and burning down the town buildings as they left. That look was scaring him because he did not know how to make it stop. 

“ _ Why does it matter? _ ” Nico asks as he pulls harshly at his chains to no avail they will not move or bend to his will. Yusuf turns to look at him with a pleading look in his eyes, begging to be let in on the conversation and to understand the next action but he couldn’t bring himself to explain to him what was happening. 

“ _ Because, I will then know if I need to kill one person, _ ” the commander finally looks away from Yusuf and makes eye contact will Nicolo as he slowly takes two large steps to land right in front of him, “ _ or two. _ ” 

A need to protect the other man washes over him as he grits out, “ _ I suppose it must be two, for this is my friend and ally. I defended this city by his side from the barbarians that made up your army. _ ” That is when the other Italian smiles and nods. Nicolo has the foolish thought that he has won for a second. 

Then the blade is cutting across Yusuf’s chest, the scream he lets out will haunt Nicolo for several centuries (that is a lie he will wake up even now looking at Nile with the screams of Yusuf, when he was Yusuf, screaming). Nicolo strains against his chains as he watches slowly but surely a cross of the Lord be carved into the chest of his friend. 

It takes several minutes after the first three Yusuf stops screaming. The next two are spent muttering in Arabic, too complex of Arabic for Nicolo to understand. The four after that are spent fighting to get away, well harder than he was fighting before, the other guards come to hold him still. The last three are spent crying, the first two quietly, then very loud as the pain sets in more. 

The whole time Nicolo is screaming, pleading, and fighting against his own chains. When the guards come to hold Yusuf down he pulls his legs up and catches him by the throat. This causes a brief pause in the carving, but then another guard is coming and holding him back the legs. He pulls on his chains above so much that it cuts into his wrists, deep and red. 

When it is finally done, the commander turns away from Yusuf’s bloody and beaten chest and turns to Nicolo. The blood from the act is covering his face, hands, clothes, he wipes at his face with the shirt that was once Yusuf’s and motions for Nicolo’s legs to be released. At this, he tries to walk over to the other man but can not move any closer, his head is hanging limp against his chest, breaths shallow and irregular. “ _ Yusuf… are you alright? Please speak, _ ” he whispers hoping for a response shortly. 

“You see, young Nicolo, we must give them the sign of God Himself before banishing them to Hell. So that even Satan knows what is wrong with them,” the older man says calmly and loudly as he cleans his blade on the old shirt. He looks up at Nicolo and actually smiles before brushing some hair behind his ear and grabbing his chin only to shove the now blood-soaked shirt into his open mouth. Everything about it makes him want to vomit. The smell of Yusuf, the taste of blood, the knowledge of how it got there, the wrongness of all it. He does start to scream when the other noises start. 

He turns his head slowly to see that Yusuf is already healing.  _ Praise God, for I was afraid that this would not happen _ , Nicolo thinks as he watches everyone respond in panic. When he is all healed Yusuf pulls his head up straight and stares into the eyes of one of the guards and spits blood at him before turning to look at Nico. “ _ I believe I am fine, though very angry. You? _ ” He hasn’t noticed the cloth shoved into his mouth yet doesn’t know that he can only taste his blood, that he is about to choke on his own vomit if he can’t get this cloth out. 

“That should not be possible. What devil magic is this?” The commander asks coming from behind Nicolo- he doesn’t think what that could mean just that Yusuf is safe. Yusuf looks at the commander and smiles, his teeth soaked in blood. The older man snarls at this and turns to Nicolo who still is just staring at the other man, tears about to overflow in his eyes. From relief or pain who knew. 

“ _ Fine, I will just hurt the traitor till you tell me _ ,” he grunts out and moves something behind Nicolo. Panic sets into Yusuf’s eyes as he watches what is happening behind him. He now fights his own chains to get closer to Nicolo but there is no use, they are stuck for the foreseeable future.

There is a crack of close range thunder.

Then the pain sets in. 

Nicolo has never been whipped before, but he had seen his father do it to one of the slaves they kept at the home for chores when they dropped a bowl. The leather was wet from the rain, and stiff from the salt in the air coming off the see. His older brother said that the salt on the leather would make it sting more. Nicolo never understood why it was said with a smile. 

Another burst of pain brings him back to this very real moment. Which is filled with tears, Yusuf’s screams, the crack of the whip, the laughter of the other guards, and the rattling of chains. All of this can not pull him out of the taste of blood in his mouth (Yusuf’s blood, on Yusuf’s shirt, which he could still smell Yusuf on). He starts to vomit but it gets caught on the cloth, making him choke and vomit more. He thinks he dies at some point but can’t be sure if he just passed out or actually died. When he does come too the commander is mumbling in church Latin, meaning he is praying something about devils on earth (see Father Thomas he was paying attention during lessons, he was just paying more attention to the man with the dark hair and eyes that would visit his dreams). 

“You are a demon that is the only reason you heal in this way. Satan himself has blessed you and this infidel, given you gifts to turn against God and nature,” the commander says in a low voice standing between Yusuf and Nicolo, on some level he recognises that the cloth has been removed from his mouth but he is not thinking on that level right now. 

“You are wrong, it was God that gave us this power, to show us that we need not fight for the land that is sacred to both of us,” Nicolo says calmly as he comes to, he knows Yusuf is giving him that stupid look that he does when he says something too soft or kind for this world he does not read into. 

The commander comes over and stabs the twisted blade into his stomach, twisting it as he pulls it out. “You are an affront to God and the Church. I will destroy you and you slave toy slowly but surely.”

Knowing there was nothing left to do Nicolo does the one thing he knows will make him feel better. He leans in closer to the commander and says, “actually I submit to him, and it is more glorious than any Heaven that could await for me.” 

The commander slits his throat. 

The next eleven days are spent being torn apart and slowly pulling themselves back together. The commander whips Nicolo ten times each morning and twice on Sunday, for the Commandment that he broke, and carves the cross into Yusuf’s chest after finishing the whipping. The soldiers find fun ways to torture them, including lighting them on fire, cutting off small chunks then daring someone to cut off a larger chunk. They shave Yusuf at one point but do not care about being careful with his throat, slitting it at one point, and just laughing at it. They remove his hair as well as his beard, and Nicolo knows it bothers him more than he lets one (when they are Nicky and Joe no one is allowed to cut Joe’s hair or beard but Nicky, late-night confessions cite this experience as to why). They drown Nicolo in a barrel, in a tub, in a bucket where they just hold down his head for too long. He is not as strong as Yusuf and cries when they hanging him back to the ceiling. 

On the twelfth night of capture, everything breaks, and it is because of Yusuf that they get free. The two guards watching them find a bottle of wine in one of the unopened cabinets in the house, and so out of boredom or addiction they drink it all. They then start to complain. 

“I miss women. There was a woman in one of these houses that I got before she was killed. That was so long ago, now all we have are these demons that will not die, and thus will not let us go home.” One guard moans to the other taking a large swig of the wine. 

“Hey, I am supposed to marry that girl from back home when I get back. Do you think I want to be here with these swine instead? Their hellish deal must run out eventually, then we go home,” the other retorts glaring at his friend. 

“But that could take months or years! I want to fuck now! I love sex, there is something about it that is….” The first guard whines. His friend pushes him away and looks somewhere else. Sadly that somewhere else is Nicolo. 

An evil smile grows on his face, that smile causes Yusuf, the lucid one of the two of them, to stand up straighter and start to pull at his chains, the ones now slick with blood and sweat. “Well, if you really need it, and don’t mind a little resistance, the Italian admitted to submitting before.” The two guards are now eying Nicolo, and though the words are lost on him Yusuf knows that look. 

The guards stand up slowly and on unsteady limbs, finish off the third bottle of wine they found, and walk over to Nicolo who is somehow asleep at a time like this. “ _ What are you doing?!”  _ Yusuf screams at the guards, this causes Nicolo to wake up and for the guards to throw the empty bottle in his general direction. 

“Shut the fuck up, you can have him back later. Well maybe, unless he is good at it,” the first guard says as he grabs Nicolo’s hips from behind. 

“Get off me,” Nicolo mumbles tired and only half awake at the moment. The guard grips harder and shushes him. The pervert then grabs Nicolo’s crotch through his clothes as he slams his own crotch into Nicolo’s ass. This causes him to wake up more fully and start to struggle. 

The other guard holds down his shoulders and gets in his face. “Do not struggle it will only hurt more,” he says in Nicolo’s face causing more of a fight, he then turns to the other guard to say, “Hurry up, I want my turn.” 

Nicolo starts to kick but can not get any force as he is trapped between the two guards, he will not cry in front of these men, not now. 

Yusuf can see the man from behind begin to undo his own clothes and he can take it any more. He starts to break his own hand to get out of his cuff. “ _ Nicolo! Please fight! I will help but you must stall! _ ” 

“Oh shut up, you fucking swine! I swear God-OW!” Nicolo had head butt both of the guards trying to give Yusuf the time he needs. The action earns him a slap across the face and having his chin and cheeks squeezed tight. “Was gonna be nice, maybe use some spit or even oil. But now… oh no.” 

The other guard gets Nicolo’s pants off right when Yusuf breaks his hand enough to get free. He uses the chain to choke out the one behind Nicolo and uses the dead guard’s sword to stab his friend. It is quick and silent, which is better than they deserve. Blood everywhere and hand slowly healing, Yusuf stands in front of a still chained Nicolo. A naked Nicolo. He goes behind him and moves in close going to grab his pants for him when he starts to hear the crying. “ _ Nicolo? What is it? _ ” he asks softly resting one hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

“ _ Please… I will beg of you, Yusuf, please do not do this. If you must then not like this, please. I beg, _ ” Nicolo sobs out in poorly pronounced Arabic. 

Yusuf is confused for a single moment, then he realises the position he has made them. In wanting to give his companion some privacy he was going to pull his pants up from behind, not realising. For he would never to anyone, it is cruel and pathetic to take instead of earn or be freely given. Yusuf takes a step back and drops his hand from Nicolo’s shoulder. “ _I would never do this to you. I am going to help you dress then break your chains. Do you understand, I step close to pull them up from your ankles, then I will get the key from the guard’s body.”_ He nods, though he can not see the other man, and slowly Nicolo feels his pants be pulled up and tied into place around his waist. A second later Yusuf comes back into his view as he searches the bodies for a key. After several minutes he finds one and comes back over to Nicolo and undoes his shackles. 

At the release his body becomes dead weight, Yusuf catches him and supports him setting him into a chair and grabbing their sword, the scimitar on his back and longsword at his hip. Once put together enough to fight his way out of here, Yusuf goes to Nicolo and helps him out of the chair.

They steal two horses and all the supplies they could find. They head east, then north back to Europe. Yusuf does not bring up what happened that night, but for several months after the light in Nicolo’s eyes is gone. 


	2. The Spanish Inquisition 1532

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to Spain to help those that are being forced to convert or die. But when do their plans ever actually go as planned?

The pair had gotten close in the past four hundred years, after that first bought of torture and capture they learned that they had to protect each other at all costs. Nicolo learned Arabic to make life easier on Yusuf, and Yusuf perfected his Italian to give comfort to Nicolo. They still prayed to their own gods, they just now did those prayers together both facing the Holy Land they once fought for. After a few hundred years they met the two women in their dreams, who reached for each other on instinct and traveled with them to fight for what they believed to be right. The taller one used to mock Nicolo for his faith, how he would offer last rights to those dying. That was till Yusuf slit her throat for doing it. 

At some point, about a hundred years in, Nicolo lets go of the fear and self-loathing long enough to make love to Yusuf, confessing all of his feels with the other man inside him. Though it takes even longer for him to be able to do this not drunk or angry, and even longer than that to stop begging for forgiveness from God above. 

This story picks up shortly after the latter happens.

They are in Spain, while Andromache and Quynh went to England to deal with the witch trials, because the pope and the government have decided that anyone but God-fearing Christians must die or leave. Nicolo is being called Nicolás and Yusuf is going by José (but that only helps so much with his dark skin and curly hair) in hopes of blending in and saving as many people from being burned, or hung, or killed in other gruesome ways for what they believe. The horrors of what the Church is doing settles worse on Nicolo than when he saw civilians killed in the Crusades. For then it was in the name of war, and in war, people are meant to die, well the opposing army is but every time he said this to Yusuf in those first days he got called naive in every language Yusuf knew. But this fight is just against the civilians, and more it’s against the civilians the Church should be helping the most. Those that are poor or old or young or anything that does not make them part of the upper class, like the king and queen who ordered this purge of their own citizens. 

Yusuf and him are working on getting the Jews and Muslims out of their homes to a safe space before the Inquisition can arrive and take them, for all the people they are saying they just exile they exile them with no food or water and do not let them stay in any place in Spain, which means nearly a hundred of miles without stopping to get more supplies. So Nicolo goes into town and buys as much food as possible while Yusuf helps construct carts and fetch water. They were being as careful as possible but they are moving full communities, someone is bound to notice eventually. 

Eventually happens late one Sunday night. 

Yusuf said that the Jews need to rest for an entire day each week would get them caught, Nicolo said that one has to respect how much commitment in their god they have. Yusuf huffed and mumbled in Arabic that God should learn that mass murder is not worth a day of rest. 

They are heading back from leading the party to the valley just past town when they hear the screams. They run towards the screams, back where they left the caravan, to find Spanish soldiers and Inqusitioners lighting the carts ablaze and killing those that fought them, Nicolo saw a few take the younger girls away, to a ditch not too far (he could already hear those muffled screams, they haunt him for several centuries). Nicolo ran that way with his sword already drawn, out of the corner of his eye he sees Yusuf charge to one of the soldiers lighting a cart on fire, cutting off his hand before the flame can touch it. When he gets over the ridge he kills the closest guard first then goes to the one between the legs of one of the girls, he cuts his arm first and pulls him back away from the girl before cutting off his cock and finally his head. Nicolo works quickly through the other four guards here before looking to the girls. “Run! Quickly grab as much supplies as you can and run!” He commands in bad Spanish, look he already had to learn four languages to communicate with his new immortal family cut him some slack, before rushing back over the hill. 

His eyes find Yusuf quickly, he is fighting off four soldiers and losing. “Yusuf!” he yells running over. This was the wrong choice for two reasons. One it made Yusuf turn to him which leads to him being stabbed through the heart. Two it gave away his location, which leads to him being shot twice in the heart by an archer a few meters away. 

_ Well,  _ he thinks as his knees give out,  _ this cannot possibly be worse than the last few times I have been killed _ . 

He was very wrong. 

When he wakes up he is tied to a table in a dark stone room with only lanterns and torches lighting the area around him. Nicolo tries to sit up being stopped by the leather bands that cover his wrists, ankles, and waist. He had not expected to be taken, instead to just wake up in the dirt outside the city, but this tells him that either he or Yusuf healed too quickly after being killed and they learned their secret. This has happened since the Crusades but it has yet to be as awful as that time. 

Nicolo takes in his surroundings, noticing the large table filled with different knives, needles, liquids, and candles. Ah, torture again not fun but no worse than before most likely. The walls were bare except for four sets of chains built into the wall. There was one other table in the room but no one on it. This is the exact moment that the dreed set in, for being torture was bad and hurt and would probably be the source of many of his nightmare but it was bearable if Yusuf was with him. Not that he liked watching the man he loved get tortured, more so long as he was there with him he knew that Yusuf was alive. 

This spiral of panic continues for another few minutes or hours, time became hard to keep track of, when Nicolo hears the door open. It reveals a bishop followed by three guards, two of them are dragging the soaked and unconscious body of Yusuf between them. This causes Nicolo to strain against the binds they have on him. “What have you done to him?” Nicolo asks in fast and angry Italian as they dump Yusuf’s body on to the table and chain him down. 

“What the Lord would have wanted, we tested to see if he be a witch. The test was positive, he kept screaming and fighting the whole time through the trial. The strange part is he would scream in Italian,” the bishop explains as he steps over to beside Nicolo’s head, looking down on him while rubbing a rosary between the fingers of his left hand, “the demon must have thought we didn’t understand his cries for his ‘beloved warrior’, but we did.” The smile on this man’s face makes Nicolo sick, it reminds him of the smile the old priest at his church gave him when he was young and foolish, asking if he would like to stay late and help clean the pews with him (when he asked his father if it was okay his father told him absolutely not, he didn’t understand why until he became a priest years later). 

Nicolo says nothing, just staring at the old man with apathy on his face (he learned from Andromache that if you show emotion then they will get pleasure from it, a lack of emotion is more upsetting for them.) Their staring contest was interrupted by a gasp to Nicolo’s left as Yusuf rejoined the land of the living. Nicolo turns his head and smiles softly at his love. “ _ These men are that of the cloth, so they will know Italian but not Arabic most likely,”  _ he says softly with love in each word, his thought is confirmed when the bishop glares at him, he smirks as he continues, “ _ as much as I love the time with my thoughts I am so glad you are back now, my love _ .” This comment gets Yusuf to laugh even though he is still in a good amount of pain as his body heals fully. 

“I am so glad that you two are comfortable, for you will be here till God give me a sign otherwise. I will be your shepherd back to redemption, the lost sheep can always find their way back to God’s light,” the bishop explains as he walks over to the cart, Nicolo spends this whole time looking at Yusuf. 

“ _ He thinks you are a sheep, Nico, _ ” Yusuf jokes glaring at the man before them, Nicolo pulls his eyebrows together before lifting one as he turns to look back at their captor. Nicolo starts to chuckle when it happens. 

The bishop turns quickly at his laughter and smiles so tightly at him, right before stabbing a spiraled three-bladed knife into Yusuf’s stomach. The man raises his eyebrows at Nicolo before slowly pulling it, and some of Yusuf’s organs, out. “I am sorry did I say something funny? I do not recall the Lord’s message,” he turns back to Yusuf and stabs again,” ever being funny.” 

“Enough!” Nicolo yells, pulling so hard on the binds that he feels them cut into his wrists drawing blood. “I have studied the word of God for longer than you have lived! This is not his message, his message is one of kindness and love, this is hate and selfishness. You disgrace God and his message.” His small speech draws the older looking man close (for no one is as old as them, not in this country at least). 

The man walks over and smiles as he spreads Yusuf’s blood across his chest. “I know men like you,” he whispers to Nicolo drawing a cross with the blood, “think you know God’s will because you can not follow what the Pope decrees. Because you can not hold back your sinful urges and must make a mockery of God’s love. Well, I have a way I deal with men like you.” He pulls back and wipes the blood on his hand on Nicolo’s pants. “But hurt everyone but you.” 

He walks back to the table, picks up a blade that is so sharp Nicolo is sure it will cut the air. The bishop walks over to Yusuf, who is now fully healed from his previous injuries, and looks to Nicolo as he makes a long slit from collar bone to navel. Nicolo wants to look away, but he can not leave his love to face this alone. 

The rest of that day they use knives to hurt Yusuf. 

The next day they use whips. Chaining Yusuf to the wall and getting Nicolo chained to the center of the room (he could not see these chains from his spot on the table) so that he could get a perfect view of the Cat of Nine Tails striking Yusuf’s bareback over and over. After ten lashes soaking it in saltwater. Nicolo screams so much that his vocal cords pop, he feels them reattach in his voice only to force them to pop again. His wrists bleed and he runs out of water to cry with. The whole time Yusuf is muttering sweet calming words in Arabic, this causes the torturers to tell him to shut up and whip harder. The blood does not dry against his back, washed away with the buckets of saltwater. 

The next day they use fire and hot wax. Yusuf mumbles that they should use wax in the bedroom next time they make love because it feels lovely. All Nicolo can do is cry and watch as they burn off his hair and flesh (that smell does haunt him for years later). 

The next day they come with a cloth in the hand of the bishop while the other men bring in bucket after bucket of water. The bishop walks over to Nicolo with a smile and offers him bread and fruit. When Nicolo ignores him, he snaps his fingers and has one of the men come over and force his mouth open as another shoves the food into his mouth. Its the sweets bread he has ever had, but he will never admit to this. They then hold his head down as the other men hold down the cloth over Yusuf’s face as they dump water over it. Eventually, he can not take this. 

“Why?” he begs more than asks of the bishop as they pour the fifth or sixth bucket over Yusuf’s face (he has clearly died at least twice but Nicolo can not think about that right now), “why do you hurt him endlessly but leave me to only watch?” 

The man turns to him, a small smile is playing on his lips and it unsettles Nicolo in a way he was not expecting. He raises his hand to halt the water, before walking to Yusuf and pull off the cloth entirely, he comes to gasping for air blood slowly coming from his nose. “I will explain this simply for you, in hopes that it will speed up the process. You are a lost sheep in need of finding your way back to the light of the Lord, this being was sent by the devil to tempt you away from His path. I believe you can be saved, Nico, but to do that I must make you hate this thing and the only way for that is for it to hate you.” The tone of the words would be unsettling enough even if the words were different, but with the words and the smile, Nicolo feels a chill to his soul. 

“I could never hate him, nor he me,” Yusuf rasps in between large huffs of air, the guards and the bishop turn to him glaring as though he is not worthy of speaking Italian. “I love that man more than there are stars in the sky or water in all the oceans. You could kill me a million times while you treat him like the angel I already believe him to be and it could not kill a fraction of the love in my heart for him. Do whatever you wish to me, but I have spent four centuries loving this man, you can not erase that if you spent the next four centuries trying.” 

The men are silent around them staring at Yusuf and glancing at their boss as he grits his teeth. The bishop picks up a small dagger and stabs it in and out of him repeatedly, causing Nicolo to cry out and try and fight his chains again to no avail. After stabbing him a number of times and soaking his face and white-collar in the dark red of Yusuf’s blood he leans down to Yusuf and waits for him to revive. As Yusuf gasps back to life the bishops lean in close and hisses, “I will gladly take five hundred years torturing you, it is God’s will.”

“A fine justification we have heard before for what is irredeemable,” Nicolo says for him. The bishop turns to him before stomping out of the basement, right before leaving he turns back to his men and commands, “continue until they break.” 

Nicolo is never surprised by the conviction of man, nor their creativity. 

They are in the basement for another two weeks, Nicolo can only keep track based on the new ways they torture Yusuf. Acids, needles, chains, poisons, and so many more that he wishes he could forget (he will never forget the screams, the smell, the feeling of helplessness). 

They honestly escape because of blind luck. 

One night a small boy sneaks into the dungeon they are being held in. He stops quickly at seeing the two men on tables, with knives and other weapons surrounding them. Slowly he walks to Nicolo and cuts one of his wrists binds with a small knife he had in his hand before running off. Nicolo makes quick work of his other binds before grabbing a blade and cutting all of Yusuf’s and helping him off the table. He wants to kiss him, to hold him, to make love to him, to remind him that he is loved and nothing they do can change that. But there is no time. So he instead runs to the corner and grabs their swords (they had used them on Yusuf on one of the days a week ago, Yusuf joked it was nothing Nicolo hadn’t done but the joke did not land) tossing the scimitar to Yusuf as he walked to him. They run out together back to back killing anyone that comes close to them and is wearing too much red for it to be a coincidence. Right as they get out the see the bishop running around in the courtyard below them. Without thinking Nicolo grabs a bow sitting near the output and fires off three arrows, all hit their mark. The head. The throat. The heart. Yusuf says nothing as it happens. 

They go to England to meet up with Andromache and Quynh. When they get there they find out they were not the only ones captured. They spend the next six decades just looking for her, but it is no use. They have a job to do, and wars to fight. But they never get over the loss. 


	3. The Indian Removal Act & Second Seminole War 1836

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To live is to watch those around you die, but to fight is to stop those from dying when they need not. To sin is to go against the true will of God, to repent is look at your past sins and try to stop others from making them anew.

They all go to America, again, this time they are with Andromache, though she is going by Andrea, and they just got back from Russia, met a sad Frenchman who they took home and refused to join their war (they can’t blame him, his wife was lovely, his sons smart, and his life peaceful, why give all that up for a forever on going war?). So they leave Europe and its scars and head back to the New World. Where the largest free nation just passed a law to remove tens of thousands of people from their homes in order to make their nation even bigger. Joseph, because that is his new name and he only kind of hates how it has changed over the years, can only be reminded of the Franks coming and forcing his people out of their homes back in Jerusalem. When he looks at Nicholas, an even worse name he will still only call him Nico, he can see the reminder of the same thing in his eyes. 

It makes both of them sick when they read about it in the paper the day after it passes, they handle the news in different ways (Yusuf sharpens their swords and Nicolo prays to a god that not even 700 years of humanity can break the faith of, despite their best efforts). 

So they head even farther west, to what will one day be known as the Trail of Tears, to fight with those that have been removed from their homes and lands to make way for Europeans trying to start a new on land that Napoleon had no right to sell. 

What they see when they finally get to the nation of the Seminoles, who have already started to fight back, is a long line of people being dragged from their homes and forced to walk for days, weeks, and sometimes months with only the supplies they can carry. Many do not survive. Those that do will be scarred for life. It reminds them of the Jews and Muslims forced to leave Spain centuries before, this will not be the last time they are forced to watch people march to their death for the sake of someone else’s progress. So they meet with the warriors fighting for their lands, and take up arms with them.

The Seminoles are wary of Andrea and Nicholas at first, their skin tone and accents remind them too much of the enemy they are fighting, but they trust Joseph, he reminds they enough of those that are from the islands south of them that got brought to the new lands. He is able to convince their chiefs that the three of them will follow orders and fight as best they can to help them. Feeling it is never right to be forced out of your home (Nicky will later say that the chief was able to read off Joe that he had personal experience of being removed from his homeland, and that off Nicky and Andy he could read people trying to make amends for forcing people from their home land.) 

So they fight. 

They fight on horseback and on foot, through the flat plains of what will eventually become northern Florida and southeastern Alabama, and it is bloody and messy and they go down a lot. At first, Nicholas and Joseph tried to wait for the other to wake up before fighting longer but eventually numbers dwindled enough that it wasn’t possible anymore. Nicholas learns to shoot a bow and musket from horseback with deadly aim, Joseph learns to be deadly up close with a pistol and a tomahawk, Andrea learns to lead stealth missions with the cover of night only guided by the stars. The fight is good and they are learning new things about the American forces, how things have changed since they revolted years ago. 

Things must always go bad eventually. 

It started with a rumor. That the Seminoles were getting help from old gods or demons, depending on who you asked. That they had sacrificed their newborns and virgins in order to appease the old war gods to help win this fight. The gods, the rumor said, had skills of fighting no man could match and even if you struck them in the head and heart they would get back up and fight more. That the gods were a mockery of the Christain faith for while there was a female goddess, the two male gods laid with each other as husband and wife. That they were light and dark, one with eyes that were made of sea foam and the other’s made of a new moon’s night sky. 

Well the rumor spread, and this made some very important men interested in these gods, demons if you ask the right people, and so they started laying traps. To mean, they captured the women and children of part of the tribe and held them captive as bait for the old gods. 

Nicholas and Joseph lead the group to rescue those kidnapped, it was a simple in and out mission. They will cause the distraction while the young and healthy men of the tribe quickly release the others from their bondage and make a run for it. It was such a simple plan that had worked so often before that Andrea did not even find it necessary to come along, this was Nicholas and Joseph’s plan and mission, she was not needed. They were not expecting the Americans to have expected this plan, nor to just kill the women and children in cold blood. 

It is a massacre. Nicholas and Joseph are at the far other end of the camp setting off small stashes of gunpowder when they hear the first round of shots ring out. Nicholas stops what he is doing and begins running, Joseph only has time to curse in Arabic as he runs after his husband scimitar in one hand tomahawk in the other cutting down any man that goes near his love. When they reach the tents Nicholas has already counted four rounds of fire from the Americans, that is three too many to be right. The ground is slick and wet when they get to the tent where the gun fire has started. The mangled and abused corpses of the young men that they led to battle is a sickening sight for Nicholas, made worse when he slips in the draining blood and falls to his knees. Joseph is right behind him and thus able to slow down enough to not fall face first in the blood, instead he is greeted by a worse sight. Inside the tent is a eight foot tall pile of bodies, the bodies of the missing women and children. Some, he notes, are still completely in tack with only a single gunshot or stab wound in them. Others are missing fingers, eyes, entire limbs. The worst that he sees is a young girl who is missing her entire left breast, one of many women and girls that are missing breasts he comes to find. The head of one of the lead warrior’s wife is sitting in front of the pile, a pungent and rancid sausage hanging from her open mouth. 

By the time he is able to pull his eyes off the horror set out in front of them, Joseph realises they are surrounded with no easy route of escape. The captain of this unit, a man who would later become a man representing the State of Georgia though he was not yet, stands before them in a shiny and well pressed uniform. Joseph looks up at him, one hand resting tightly on Nicholas shoulder to anchor himself (or maybe Nicholas, or both who is truly to say all these years later), silent tears run down his face as he makes eye contact. “You are a monster, one that not God or Allah would be willing to save,” Joseph sneers, putting his body between this man and Nicholas. The other man just smiles and nods as several men swarm the two immortals and attempt to chain them. Joseph smiles as he takes out several of them before his face is pressed into the ground covered in the blood of his fallen comrades. All he can do is whisper words of affirmation to Nicholas in Italian till they are knocked out. 

They come to in a tent, no surprise, tied up, again no surprise, across the room from each other. They are sitting with their hands behind them tied to a steel pole that has been staked into the ground, if it were not for the inevitable pain that is about to come onto them Joseph would be making some comment about how lovely Nicholas looks right now half asleep and tied up. Instead there are more pressing issues. 

“My love are you alright?” He asks frantically looking the other man over for any obvious signs of damage, they have been stripped of their shirts and boats but their pants remain still Joseph notices blood that is now dried onto Nicholas’ pants. 

“It is not mine.” is all that he gets in response, that is what reminds him of the bodies, the massacre, the pile, the head, the sausage. 

“That does not answer my question, Nicolo,” Joseph retorts, pulling out his old name to get a response. 

Nicholas finally opens his eyes and looks at him with tired eyes that have been turned red from tears, he almost always wakes up first when they are knocked out. “No, my heart, I am fine physically. Though my heart and soul is weighed down by every life lost today.” 

“I know, habibi, I know. We must focus first on getting out of here, then we mourn.” There is a tiredness to Joseph’s voice that is not normally there and it adds weight to Nicholas’ already heavy heart, for the world may see Nicholas as the kind and caring one Joseph is still the one that feels every death and heart ache as if it were his own. 

Before he gets the chance to reply the tent entrance is pulled open by the man that stood before them earlier. “Gentleman! What a pleasure it is, to meet the legends that have haunted my men for so many months now. I must say though, I was expecting more from gods.” He has changed from a clean pressed uniform to a light colored shirt and pant combo that is covered by a leather apron. 

Joseph just turns to look back at his husband, both ignoring the new man in the room. This is the best way to upset a man like this. 

“It is very rude to ignore your host, you know,” the man says with a huff walking over to Nicholas and grabbing him by the chin, even though it is probably extremely uncomfortable and a strain on his eyes he does not look away from Joseph. “I must say, your eyes are beautiful, I simply must have them.” With that he pulls out a curved blade and digs out both of Nicholas' eyes. The screams that both of them let out could curdle blood, as both fight against the rope around them, Joseph trying to get closer and Nicholas trying to get away.

As soon as they are out the general places them in a jar that he procured from who knows where. Nicholas is still screaming, the pain not fading quickly as he is now blinded. “Hmm, how disappointing, I was told that you could not be hurt. This is quite anticlimactic,” the general says speaking mostly to the jar as he watches Nicholas’ eyes roll around it. 

“You sick, fucked up, son of a bitch! I will choke you out on your own intestines for that!” Joseph spits out between clenched teeth, his eyes holding steady on his love, arms straining as he tries to get closer. The worst part is the regrowth process a lot of the time. Reattaching is one thing, and it takes a bit but is never horrible. But to completely regrow body parts is slow and excruciating. 

The general pulls his eyes off the jar and looks at Joseph, he has the audacity to smile. “I was told that this man took a slave as his only lover, but I figured it was a female slave at that. But here you are a dog chained up begging for their master. How did he get you so well trained? For I can not even get my women as loyal as you,” the general says in slow amazement as he comes over to Joseph, gripping his jaw hard and tilting his head to examine him properly. 

“He… is not… he is not… my sl- slave. He… he is my… equal,” Nicholas pants out from across the room, his eyes fully regrown now but not yet able to focus on anything, leaving him to blink constantly trying to get them to work properly. 

“Heavenly Father, what witchcraft is this?” He asks looking between the jar with the old eyes in one hand and the man across the room blinking in new eyes. 

“It is not witchcraft, or demons, or old gods, or anything of the like. It is purely a gift God has granted to those he has found worthy,” Nicholas replies far too smoothly for a man who both lost his eyes and regrew them in the span of about ten minutes. The general, still holding too tightly to Joseph’s jaw, turns around with a twisted smile on his face to look at Nicholas who can only stare back. 

“Is that so? You think the Heavenly Father would grant two sodomites the ability to live on and see the world after their time of death?” 

“Yes. I am sure of it, for I am it. God wishes for love, there is no love on this earth that compares to Yusuf’s and I’s.” There is no question in his voice, nor is there room to question this statement. 

“Well then,” the general says as he bends down one last time to look over Joseph, “let us see who God deserts first then.” 

They watch as they wheel in two large tables, made of wood with holes drilled into them at random spots it would seem, the tables slant down from the outside to the innermost point, like a funnel or inverse pyramid. The men that bring in the tables then make work of getting the two immortals on the tables strapped down and unable to move. A series of knives and jars are brought in and lined up as another man wearing a similar leather apron comes in after all the equipment is brought in. 

This is the day that Joseph learns that it takes Nicholas 42 minutes to regrow both of his lungs, 27 minutes to regrow his right arm, and 18 minutes to regrow his heart. 

This is the day that Nicholas learns it takes 51 minutes to regrow all of Joseph from the waist down, 33 minutes to regrow his liver, and 13 minutes to regrow his right hand (the one with the ring that he had bought him back in Malta all those years ago). 

It is also the day he learns that they do not regrow their heads with any speed. It takes hours. They are hours spent crying and praying and cursing. 

It takes a total of 39 hours for Andrea to get them out. Most of that time was spent trying to locate their holding camp, as the general was smart enough to move them from their original attack site. They do not kill the general for they do not have time. But they also do not leave the fight after being freed as they have done every other time. Instead they continue to fight till the end of the war. 

At which point they get a letter from Sebastien Le Livre, asking for them to come get him, his youngest son has now died and he has nothing left for him in Paris. So they go and collect their brother. Only to have to turn around and fight in another war in the Americas. To this day, Nicky and Joe countdown the minutes it takes for the other to regrow specific body parts (when held by Merrick in the lab it is the only thing that keeps Nicky sane as he watches his soul be torn apart just out of reach).


End file.
